State of Emergency...

As Ontario declared their 2nd state of emergency due to COVID-19, how are you managing? Gosh, I am totally over it. My 13 year old self want to scream and complain that life is not fair. My “grown up” self is saying, we need to ride this thing out and really lockdown to get things under control.

Here’s something about me, I am good at being with a big crowd, but I really enjoy being at home. I am totally content with not going out on the weekends and staying in. For years, I’ve had very bad anxiety and was suffering from anxiety attacks. I’ve worked hard to manage it. Back in the beginning of our quarantine in March 2020, I couldn’t stop fidgeting for days and the pacing around began. I had trouble focusing on tasks I needed to get done, because I could feel my anxiety creeping back into my life.

The anxiety wasn’t about worries of potentially catching the virus. I was taking precautions when I would go out and I am a non-stop hand washer naturally. I didn’t need COVID to get me to start washing my hands. My anxiety came from being told I can’t/shouldn’t be going out. It was like a switch went off in my head when the announcement was made for the public to stay home. I felt like I was being suffocated for not being allowed to have my freedom to do what I want. My 13 year old self was definitely having a hissy fit.

Since we’ve had more than 3/4 of a year in quarantine/lockdown experience, I can tell you, my struggle was real. I had to get myself to be really disciplined, practiced my breathing and to meditate. These were things I was doing before the pandemic, but I really had to pay attention and enforced my routine. Especially when my anxiety kicked in, it was easier to feel all the stress and pain than to remember to breathe. With practice, over time, everything began to get easier and the anxiety subsided.

I feel much better at knowing I have to stay at home now. I also know many are still struggling. Many of us are getting tired of having to have online meet ups instead of seeing each other in person, but under the circumstances, I think we need to utilize the technologies we do have and check in on one another regularly. Community is important and there’s no shame in struggling. We all go through it at some point in life. If you are comfortable, talk to your friends/family. If you are not comfortable with talking to people you know, there are support groups to people in need to voice their emotions. You are a warrior! You are experiencing a lot! Your mental health is important! Do not feel ashamed and suffer in silence! 

Until next time, sending you love and positive vibes!

​~Rowena~ ✌️❤️😘